Oh great, Rob Zombie to remake ‘The Blob’

Variety is reporting that Rob Zombie will leave the “Halloween” franchise alone and focus on other unoriginal work: remaking 1958’s “The Blob.”

And here I was hoping we’d be treated to “Halloween III: Season of the Skank” by Zombie. Imagine it: an updated but gritty Silver Shamrock company, run out of the back of a dirty whore house’s old shed, and undoubtedly led by Sheri Moon Zombie, would distribute dirty clown stripper masks that would melt the faces of kids on Halloween night. I imagine Sid Haig would’ve also played a role. Because when doesn’t  he?

Boo. Instead he’s going to reinvent “The Blob.” I do find it intriguing to see “The Blob” done with better effects, but I’m not sure how this could go. Zombie’s quote to Variety brings up a good point, but it also scares me. “My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change,” Zombie said. “That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.”

It’s called “The Blob,” though. That’s what a blob is. It doesn’t have to be red. But it has to be a blob.