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REVIEW: ‘True Blood’ season finale a true bore



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I love “True Blood.” And I’ve loved this season of “True Blood.” There was never a dull moment. Until the season finale Sunday night.

The episode started with the ritual/orgy where Maryann (Michelle Forbes) was about to offer up shapeshifter Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) to the God who comes. Bill (Stephen Moyer) saves the day while Sookie (Anna Paquin) screams a lot and acts stupid. The town is then released from Maryann’s spell and everything goes back to normal. Way too quickly. Except for the part where Eggs goes crazy and has to be taken out. But who really cares about Eggs? He was a pointless character and a terrible actor.

So that season-long storyline was wrapped up and I was certain I’d be treated to a nice juicy mystery setting up next season. Nope. All we got was Sam going on the hunt to find his birth parents (who cares?) and Bill getting kidnapped after he proposed to Sookie. Gee, I wonder who would be behind the kidnapping of Bill? Oh, wait, I bet it’s Eric (Alexander Skarsgard). You know, since he said earlier in the episode that he’d “take care of Bill Compton.” Speaking of Eric, he was barely in the episode. They should know by now Eric is who everyone wants to see. And how pointless was the Vampire Queen (Evan Rachel Wood)?

I just expected more. I wanted something serious to happen. I wanted a huge cliffhanger. I wanted werewolves. Or something.

I give the season an A- and the season finale a D+.

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DVD REVIEW: ‘Grace’ is why vegan lesbians shouldn’t have babies?



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I don’t ask for much when it comes to movies. Hell, I love subtlety and the power of suggestion. But I need at least a little bit of guidance from a filmmaker.

Paul Solet gives me none in his feature debut “Grace.” I still have no idea exactly what I watched. What I do know is that “Grace” is a movie about a woman named Madeline (Jordan Ladd) who wants to be a mother in the worst way. After two miscarriages, she and her husband successfully become pregnant again. With only three weeks left until delivery, Madeline is in a car accident that kills her husband and her unborn baby. She refuses medical treatment and decides to carry the dead baby to term.

When the baby is finally delivered, it’s not dead after all. At least not completely dead. The new mommy soon realizes that her breast milk isn’t enough for little Grace. She has a taste for blood. And then there all the flies in the nursery and Grace’s pungent smell.

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Tina Fey, Justin Timberlake win Emmys for SNL spots



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The Creative Arts Emmys were given out last night and Tina Fey won the guest actress Emmy for her portrayal of Gov. Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live.

Justin Timberlake took home the guest actor award for his appearance as host on the show.

The awards in the guest drama categories went to Ellen Burstyn for “Law & Order: SVU” and Michael J. Fox for “Rescue Me.” Variety has the list of other winners for the night, but the big awards will be given out Sunday, Sept. 20.

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‘Takers’ trailer almost as lame as its poster



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The trailer for “Takers” is online and for some reason it just makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s Hayden Christensen’s stupid hat. Or maybe it’s Chris Brown. Or maybe it’s just the after effects of that terribly PhotoShopped poster.

From the looks of the trailer, the good news is that Brown and T.I. as actors are going to make Christnensen and Paul Walker as actors look like Meryl Streep and Hillary Swank.



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Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page make out



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For some reason, Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page share a kiss in the October issue of Marie Claire magazine. For what reason, I’m not sure.

I know there are a lot of lesbians who are roller derby girls. So maybe it’s a promo for Barrymore’s directoral debut, “Whip It.” It stars Page as a roller derby girl.

Sorry guys that it’s not Megan Fox and Jessica Biel, but maybe Drew and Ellen can hold you over until that happens.

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‘Where the Wild Things Are’ character posters



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Warner Brothers has released some character posters the the much-anticipated “Where the Wild Things Are” and they make me want to scream! In a good way, of course! I just want to see this. Now. I don’t want to wait!

The posters below feature Max, the boy, and creatures Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini), Judith (voiced by Catherine O’Hara) and KW (voiced by Lauren Ambrose). Even the voice actors in this movie are awesome. I can’t wait.

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‘Law Abiding Citizen’ images



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Overture Films has released the final, official one-sheet and a production still for “Law Abiding Citizen.”

It’s a pretty cool design. I can’t tell what the movie is about by looking at it. Which is only necessary if you’re one of those people who go to the movies to see nothing in particular and don’t even know what’s playing. Thank god I’m not one of those idiots. Because when posters aren’t very telling like this one, I’d be screwed. I’d be forced to loudly whisper to the person sitting next to me to ask “Now what is this movie about”? Then someone else would be forced to call me a dumbass and ask what I’m even doing at the movies if I didn’t even know what was playing. Then I’d probably dislike the moive and leave midway through. And more than likely, I’d ask the theater employees if I could have my money back because it sucked worse than “Battlefield Earth.”

Where’d that come from? I guess those annoyances have been bottled up for too long. I’m sure I’d never walk out of “Law Abiding Citizen.” Mostly because I probably wouldn’t be walking in to it either. But only because I don’t like Jamie Foxx or Gerard Butler. No other reason.

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Megan Fox, Ryan Reynolds first two SNL hosts this season



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Jennifer’s Body” hottie Megan Fox will help “Saturday Night Live” kick off its 35th season when she hosts Sept. 26. Fox will be joined by musical guests U2.

I hope Fox’s thumb get a chance to showcase their acting chops as well!

Variety reports that the following week (Oct. 3) will be hosted by fellow hottie Ryan Reynolds. Lady GaGa is the scheduled musical guest that week.

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Crazy news: Ellen DeGeneres new ‘American Idol’ judge



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Variety reports that talk show host Ellen DeGeneres will replace Paula Abdul as the fourth judge on “American Idol.”

That might be the strangest, yet most exciting, news I’ve heard in a long time. My jaw serisouly dropped when I read the news. DeGeneres has been a fan of the show and often hosts each eliminated contestant on her show.

But what does she know about singing? “Idol” creator Simon Fuller doesn’t think that matters. He told Variety that Ellen’s  “love of music and understanding of the American public” would bring “a unique human touch to our judging panel.”

I think I agree. I know it will be a lot easier to watch now that Ellen will be on.

What do you think? Isn’t this crazy?

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Watch Dexter kill a Barbie with a hairy chest



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Dexter” is now the star of a stop motion animated short on YouTube. Showtime posted the video, called “Dexter’s Private Life,” starring a Dexter action figure.

Even though I love all things Dexter, I did have to laugh at his victim in this short. Apparently a Barbie is all they could find, so they cut its hair and added chest hair beneath Dexter’s infamous shirnk-wrap job. You know, Dexter does kill women, too. It would’ve been totally fine to not turn Barbie into a tranny.

I highly recommend reading the comments on YouTube. There’s currently a battle going on there where some people are saying Seth Green (“Robot Chicken“) should sue Showtime. As if he invented stop motion animation. I love comment board idiots.

Oh, and since I can’t remind myself this enough, “Dexter’s” fourth season premieres Sept. 27.

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