Oh man, I was hoping for a “Three Little Pigs” movie but I guess I’ll have to settle for a “Little Red Riding Hood” one. 

Leonardo DiCaprio’s Appian Way has teamed up with “Orphan” writer David Leslie Johnson to create a gothic re-imaging of the fairy tale. For those of you who just landed on Earth, “Little Red Riding Hood” is about a little girl who is on her way to her sick grandmother’s house and is unaware that the Big Bad Wolf has already eaten her granny. And of course the little girl is next. Delish. 

Instead of the actual fairy tale, allow me to recommend “Freeway” (1996), starring Reese Witherspoon and Kiefer Sutherland. It’s an awesome twisted version of “Little Red Riding Hood” and should be taught in schools. Witherspoon fans might want to brace themselves. Her role as Vanessa makes Tracy Flick (“Election”) look like an angel.