As if Rob Zombie hasn’t done enough to destroy my beloved “Halloween,” he might actually go too far this time. The guys at /Film are pretty sure Michael Myers will speak for the first time in Zombie’s “Halloween II” (or is it still something lame like “H2”?) and that really upsets me. Michael Myers doesn’t speak. He kills. And that’s it.

The sequel to his 2007 atrocity promises to be ever worse as the trailers show us Michael’s mom (Sheri Moon Zombie) returns in the form of some angelic ghost (who still looks like she slept in her make-up and might smell like the bathroom floor of a dirty southern strip club). God forbid Zombie make a movie without his wife. She was killed off in the first one for crying out loud. We also see Laurie (Scout Taylor Compton) donning Michael’s childhood clown mask and preparing to kill Annie (Danielle Harris). Maybe that’s a dream or something, but still.

And don’t get me started on his new mask and hood. 

I don’t know, it might be a good movie if it weren’t tied to the “Halloween” franchise. But I doubt it. One thing is certain, though: I’d need a shower after watching it regardless.

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