“Dexter,” Season 5, Epsiode 12: “The Big One”

This time last season, I was sill sitting on my couch with my jaw on the floor. Seriously, after “Dexter” Season 4’s finale, I literally sat there in silence for five minutes. Then I digested what I had just seen and spent the rest of the year still trying to shake off what was personally the greatest shock in my television viewing history.

So that fact that “Dexter” Season 5 wrapped things up quietly was a relief. I didn’t need another shock. I’m happy with the ending. I imagine a lot of you won’t be. At least not immediately. But I hope you consider a couple things. One: “Dexter” had not been renewed by the time of filming. A cliffhanger or shocker could’ve never been played out. Two: Last season’s finale can’t be topped anyway. Ever.

I also hope the Nanny theorists aren’t too disappointed. Maybe she’ll turn out to be Lila’s mom next season. Or maybe she’s just a way, in the style of soap operas, for a baby to not mess up the storytelling process too much.

So I’ve covered the ending. The rest of the episode was definitely finale-worthy. Dexter (Michael C. Hall) is getting ready to find Jordan (Jonny Lee Miller) and Lumen (Julia Stiles) but before he can get to it, RoboCop’s (Peter Weller) murder is called in. Since it’s an “officer down,” the entire department heads to the scene, including Dexter. And by boat for some reason.

At the scene, Dexter processes his own murder and LaGuerta (Lauren Velez) questions Quinn (Desmond Harrington). She tells him RoboCop’s cell phone indicates the last several calls were made to Quinn. Uh-Oh. Then she looks down and sees blood on Quinn’s shoe. It’s RobCop’s blood but not even Quinn knows that. But he suspects it and requests a lawyer. LaGuerta orders Quinn back to the station for questioning. He’s basically the main suspect.

Dexter is able to break free, and heads off to rescue Lumen. He steals a car and makes his way to the creepy River of Jordan summer camp. Oh, so that’s where he got his name. Ha. Anyway, Jordan is torturing Lumen and Dexter’s terrible driving skills return. He again, violently crashes the car he’s in. Jordan finds him, ties him up and puts him with Lumen.

Jordan does that thing most people do to give the “hero” time to get untied. So Dexter frees himself and stabs Jordan through the foot. Jordan can’t even move. It’s awesome. Then he knocks Jordan out. Jordan wakes up strapped to a table. Dexter tells Lumen he’s hers. She freaks out and stabs Jordan.

As they’re debating the cleanup, Deb (Jennifer Carpenter) is arriving at the camp to investigate a tip. We’re lead to believe that this is finally the moment Deb will find out who Dexter is. And she almost does. But as she approaches Dexter and Lumen, there’s a sheet of plastic blocking them. She tells them to freeze. Then explains that she gets what they’re doing. Then she lets them go. Oh Deb, it really runs in the family.

Deb’s entire story arc, season after season shaped her for that exact moment. After all the terrible things she’s been trough. The ice truck killer. Lundy. Everything. She can sympathize with what the people behind the plastic are up to. She had to let them go. It makes perfect sense.

So she leaves, calls in the scene and Dexter and Lumen clean up the crime. Jordan is written off as missing like the others and the case is closed. I’m not sure why it’s closed since everyone’s missing, but whatever.

Lumen decides it’s time for her to go. Her dark passenger has moved on. Dexter hasn’t found his soul mate. But he was able to let someone know and care for the real him.

Dexter heads off to Harrison’s birthday party and Quinn shows up. We learn Dexter cleared Quinn’s name all for the sake of helping Deb find happiness. Everyone’s happy and everyone has someone. Even Dexter. Don’t feel bad for him. He’s never alone. The Dark Passenger is always there and it even gave us a smirk in the last shot.

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